Conversation overheard on the bus

Overheard on the bus:

"So.  We quit visiting with Berni and Don so much."

"Why's that?"

"Well, it's hard to visit with Don. He's a strange guy."

"How strange?"

"It's hard to explain. How would you describe Don, Larry?"

"Hmm. He's strange.  A wood stove is the only way to go. There is no other way. Hunting, fishing.... he has a beard.  There are only three subjects and when they are used up, that's it.  You just sit there.  But he goes to bed early."

"How early?"

"Nine.  He needs his rest."

"Does he do really hard labor?  Needs more rest?"

"No, he's a maintenance guy for Holiday Inn.  He really doesn't know much how to fix things but he's learning."

"He's about our age but his Dad never taught him much. Oh, Larry tell about how he electrified one of the customers."

"Oh yeah, man.  He did some wiring for a show that was happening at the H.I. and he wired it wrong and fried one of the guys!  It could have been real serious."

"He changes locks and puts new cords on phones."

"Does Berni like him?"

"Oh yeah. She loves him to a point beyond reason.  He is her beloved.  They waited 7 years before they had this baby.  They want 4 kids.  They better keep at it. She's 32 already."

"He's always cutting firewood.  Firewood is a thing with him.  For their fireplace.  He has four chainsaws.  If you know of a new place to fix a chainsaw or buy one or whatever, now that is a subject for discussion.   He's always cutting wood.  You wouldn't believe how much wood they have.  He has a thing about firewood."

"Do they have a stove?"

"Yes. Oh yes, but it would take years to use this much wood....

You know, I can never forgive him for that time on the freeway."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... We're making 70 down the freeway coming back from fishing and he's talking and watching me and not the road and I see the cars in front of us... stopped.  He doesn't slow down and he keeps talking and he doesn't slow down.  Finally we're getting closer and I say 'Hey! they're stopped ahead!'  He puts on the brake and then..."

"Did you swerve?"

"Fishtailed. Scary.  I can't forget that.  I won't ride with him anymore.  Then there was my fishing pole."

"What happened?"

"Well, we're out fishing and coming back he sees some wood along side the road.  He says, 'Look at that wood!  Somebody couldn't get it all. They just left it!'  So he screeches to a halt to grab the wood!  He tosses it right in the back on top of my fishing pole!  Never even noticed.  'Course his pole was safely stowed in a rack behind the seat....

Broke my good pole to smithereens."