SHOPPING
by
Carol Jo Horn
For years Eugene had been looking for the perfect tie. Generally he
wore black bow-ties, but for his own funeral he wanted a formal silk
tie that somehow demonstrated his true character. However, a good tie
is as difficult to find as a good lamp.
In New York he spent hours at Macy's. Just when he thought he’d found
the perfect tie, it was snapped out of the window and sold to someone
else. Kansas City had some interesting ties, but none were the right
color for a funeral. London had so many men’s wear shops that Eugene
thought it would take the rest of his life to see every tie available.
Most of the clerks were very helpful, until he mentioned the occasion
for which he wanted to purchase his perfect tie. Not everyone wants to
assist a man in choosing the tie he will take with him into eternity.
Originally he did not explain. People were more helpful then. Quite a
few even dug through their back stock to find the most unusual neck
wear. Anxious to make a sale, they were caught up in the Quest. Some
left him on his own with trays of ties, rightfully thinking that a
choice like this could only be made alone.
“Ties make the man,” one woman declared, raising a red polka dotted
number in front of his shirt. “Unless they unmake him,” Eugene
muttered. Virtually every tie that was held up for
inspection, became a candidate for his final purchase.
When Eugene had been searching for his perfect funeral tie for 18
years, he finally found it at an After-Xmas Sale that was in full
swing. Xmas and New Year’s Eve were always times for reflection.
Yearly stock-taking was a habit with Eugene, so he was delighted to
find a tie that represented a life fully focused on his own death.
Zippers - dozens of zippers were pictured on his tie....All of them
closed.
“Best of all ties” was what everyone who came to Eugene’s funeral
noticed. Could he have found anything better? Death had the last
word. Even the Reverend Parker commented, “Eugene sure knew how
to pick a tie.”
1 comment:
I love it!
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